rockstar ronan who is mr sparkly eyes

I gave in after trying everything to go to sleep last night, and popped my old friend, Ambien. I met with one editor from a certain publishing house, more than once. Staying in bed, in NOT good for my mental well being. As always, I am thankful for you and that I am your mama. Thank you, V and K. For being so kind and generous today. This is the part where all you lovelies chime in on how brave I am. Most of the time alone. Slow down. Thanks for nothing, White House. - ROCKSTAR RONAN I was holding him and our Mr. Sparkly Eyes came into the room. I was hoping she wasnt thinking, Who is this crazed stalker with purple hair?? You are back now so please just take these next few days to just stop. Im pacing the house now. That is actually a big fat lie. She made me smile so for that moment in time, I was o.k. A few hours later, I got the news. I miss you so much, Ro. I sent your Mr. Sparkly Eyes a text message. I know we talked about it, but I dont remember all the things you told me. I miss you. Sometimes, I miss it. It stopped and looked my way. I am trying my best. Its the Who is Mr. Sparkly Eyes. A lot of you, ask that in my comments. I dont want to talk to much about it because I dont want to jinx myself. A lot is wrong with me, actually. You were supposed to be with me, for the rest of MY life. I have learned to be present, to smile when all I want to do is cry, to be productive when all I want to do is curl up in my bed for a week, and to throw myself into things that take a lot of work, but the work leaves me distracted. Time to go, little man. Stress. Nobody deserves to get cancer, but especially not children. 34 and being pregnant can suck it. You have plenty of people who would love to take care of you. I would give anything to have you here to cuddle up to because I cant sleep. Thats how I like it., Him: I know you insist on doing allthese things alone, but its not the way it should be. For the love that was ripped from my arms. I found out on her birthday, which was not planned at all! Just when I have been struggling on a little side project the past few days. I dont do well with them. I think Lacrosse is a good start. This never happens for me. We had a little debate that I took a stance on and refused to back down. Ill bet you are the WORST sick patient ever. This is the end of your story for tonight, baby doll . I love you. I told them it was o.k. I Dont Know What To Expect When ImExpecting. It seems to be filled with all the wrong things, the wrong people hurting others, the wrong everything. She makes me be still and quiet in a way that is not forced. I attempted to drive home but had to pull over mid way so I could bang my head against my steering wheel and cry. But I think about my friends daughter, and the fact that at her age, she knew what was happening. Ronan. I dont know if I could handle this without Macy by my side. Agreed. Mr. Sparkly Eyes called. Miss you." AF says: July 28, 2011 at 5:59 AM. I talked about it in a way that I made her understand why the care is just as important as the research. Whats wrong? Nothing will. I cannot believe how truly hard you are working, Ronan. I have to have some things I keep to myself. Oh god. And no. Pillow case soaked. She is doing amazing things with it. Listen, I cannot even fathom what you have gone through and will go through for the rest of your life. We dont have many plans for the weekend. If you are not and you are still complaining about this shit I would really like to punch you in the face. I'm landing close to midnight. We could use your little one to put on the mannequin. If you cant be here with me, I will honor you by bringing your little light everywhere that I can. Of course it is a Star Wars theme. I often feel like after you died, we should have just up and moved to freaking Australia or somewhere crazy. You are so right. No way could it really be a girl. My face seems to be constantly wet these days. The one where I was watching that little girl play in all the clothes racks. ! I started to cry. Not a lot has been going on so I dont have a ton to write about. I inhaled it, hoping for it to smell like you. There was complete devastation. Happily. I dont know why you continue to do things like this. This will be how you live on and help others. Mothers Day is hard enough now, butthe fact thatit falls on what should have been your 6th birthday is just beyond anything I am capable of handling. To make sure good things continue to go on, because of their baby? Ill just stick with pie for now. Sparkly Eyes - ROCKSTAR RONAN I wish I could tell you it tasted as amazing as I remembered it with you, but of course it didnt. Mother fucking asshole cancer. I would have chased you like the wind today. Bye Bye Little Sad House! We Have a New Home! - ROCKSTAR RONAN Even when you have a dead kid, life just goes on. Ive been living off of pie. Throw up. The little mannequin dressed up like you, looked just like you did when you actually wore the costume. This baby girl is going to be the most loved little baby girl in the world. Its bullshit and something no parent should ever have to experience. She is so beautiful already. Good friends. Today was one of those days where I just could not stop crying. We went to dinner. Even if you dont mean it or dont feel like it. As of now, I cant talk about our news. That phone call that left me with my head going to the worst possible places and telling myself I wouldnt survive this big of a loss, once again. Ronan. I remember our last moments together. I let myself get lost in my baking. How could my totally healthy, beautiful baby boy be so healthy, and then have fucking stage 4 cancer just like that? This was not something I was going to tell him over the phone. How much your absence is always felt. Ive been spendingmost of my days in your room. There is no way I can even fathom the thought of taking down your things and packing them away. She has our attention. I feel that way about everyone who hears about you. I miss you. I picked up Starbucks. I told them I was. Gladly. with this. Who am I kidding? 0 faves. When Im not writing to you on the blog, I feel like a bad mom to you. You have to carry this around with you forever, while the ones who cared about Ronan, your family, your friends, get to go on with their lives. Thank you.. I did not think anything else could happen today, that would leave me speechless. Peach Pie, Apple Pie, Cherry Pie yes please. As in, this is exactly what they would be doing if you were here but you are not here, so how are we doing the exact same things? Why is the house so quiet? You two had a bond and almost a secret language. I love you. I had my iTunes on. He is someone you loved so much. Your Master Yoda, your Spirit Hood, your gigi blanket. They didnt judge me. Yelling, Quinny! So much. Its all I can do just to survive it. I think I am starting to feel a little better and pie is still my best friend. Im not a scientist. Not sleeping well. I dont do well with things that slow me down. How surreal this all still seems to me. You were just so happy being home with all of us. It didnt. The problem Im facing is I may have too much material, and too much to say. Beauty. Today, while I sat in the room full of absolute brilliance everywhere, I noticed there were 2 things missing. I told your daddy if I had a month, uninterrupted, I could finish it, easily. Its starting to annoy me. Mandy chirped up, Can you tell the sex of the baby today? The technician told her she indeed could. on 2 a.m. Insomnia Parties With A Raccoon and ACat. what a beautiful little guy whos touched so many lives! We went over the ultrasound and all of Poppys measurements which look perfect. By taking a little time out to go to New York. What perfect timing. We very much needed a pow wow session. You were mine. I will never understand why all of these kids are swept under the rug. I went to the Pearl Jam concert a few nights ago with your daddy, Uncle Jay, and Char. I wanted you so badly, to be in the kitchen cooking with me, like we used to do. Dr. Schwartz asked how I was feeling. Its taken a lot of work to get us to go on in our day to day lives, together, as a family, with such a huge void that never goes away. I hope today I can manage to be a little productive. Woody called me from the plane and told me what had happened. Those are you are so fucking lucky. So shut up, suck it up, and be grateful. It was no use. I was in a world that I normally dont live in anymore. I really wanted a girl. Maybe Ill start baking. So I shoved the phone away and rocked myself as I sob and cry and cry. I hope you are safe. I have the best doctor I know in Omaha at the ER waiting for you. I love you, Liz. But all the gratitude and good things will keep me going I promise you that. "Ronan" was released on September 8, 2012, as a charity song by Taylor Swift. Now, since this vampire baby seems to be sucking the life out of me, I can hardly get my head up off of my pillow in the mornings to take your brothers to school. Im too sick to laugh. I know what I am coming home to. I would rather jump out of an airplane, 10 times then have to walk out of PCH with your Captain Rex costume that you will never wear again. I miss you. As always, it was good. I'm trying to get there as fast as I can. Gnite, babydoll. Are you sure? The technician told me she was about 90% sure. I did my best all week to do the normal mom things that I have to do to run our house. This is one of the things that I love most about him. I have a bunch of families that I will be thinking of, not just our own. I dont my hatred with meat will last, but as of now the thought of it makes me ill. Pie. I love you so much. I told your brothers once again, how I really want to name this baby girl, Poppy. Ronan. Eager and passion are both things I feel from her. I was getting ready for our little board meeting and I should have suspected something.. but I just chopped it up to being tired. Can I just say today, I am so glad I had your Fairy RoMo there with me not only as my dear friend, but as a witness to the amazingness that occurred. I am forever so very sorry I couldnt fix you. I hope you are safe. I know its important to them Ronan and I am so thankful for all the hard work thats going into this disease, but its not enough. The lady started measuring some things. You have a baby on the way. As in really hard. Mr. Sparkly Eyes - Page 3 - ROCKSTAR RONAN To feel everything I know I am going to be feeling. The sweet lady told me it was. It was around 10, that I heard them both crawl into bed with me. You were always are mini Pat Tillman who was going to rule the world. From what I can see here, it looks like you are having a baby girl. Really? You are making so many amazing things happen. The only ones I feel comfortable taking. You know how I am about just letting things, happen when they are supposed to. I am so overwhelmed with every aspect in my life right now that I feel like a breakdown might be in order, just because I fucking deserve one. Our conversations area always easy and honest. OMG. I am trying not to panic about it all, but I said to your daddy tonight, We need to come up with alast minuteMay plan, because Icant behere. He promised me he would, so I am trying to relax a bit about it but it has still been keeping me awake at night. He was so tiny and frail. Guess what? I'm hard on myself and fuck, I just plain miss this. I have tried to get it about 3 times, but all I can do is sit in the parking lot and cry. Of course I can. The thought of any type of food, makes me nauseous, except pies. You know I will always say yes to New York. I went with Stacy and Fernanda to shop for your Christmas Tree that we are putting up this weekend at PCH. Rockstar Ronan - ROCKSTAR RONAN Our seal needed a little make-over and update. I love you to the moon and back, baby doll. She sat with me for a good half an hour to discuss how I am doing, how I am feeling, how I am dealing with all of this, and how much I miss you. Ron Starr - Wikipedia I miss you. That my life without you is full of so much pain, sadness and hurt. Your costume. They deserve more compassionate treatments. And the people that work in this building, could not be lovelier! I would like May 9th to be National F U Cancer day. How you would scream and cry and try to be brave, but you hated it so much. I do these things for you. And if they do get cancer, there should really be better treatments and options. There was one person I had not told yet. I will fight on, not because I am strong but because I wont fail you or let you down. I could not believe my ears. All I know is this is the way it is. How I would hold you and your daddy would give you the shot. I saw your Sparky yesterday. Just because I am tired and sick does not mean I have to roll over and totally give into that, right?? But I appreciated Fernanda saying that. Running on the beach. I wont tell you everything they did to him, because I feel like I have to protect you. She has given me such a gift already and she is only a week old. Then perfect your baby has cancer Ronan. I think I told you that I tried to prep, with Dr. JoRo about this whole getting pregnant thing. It was actually all I could do, not to run up to the podium and hijack the speakers talk. It was official. I hope you are safe. I dont think I moved for the next 24 hours. Only Eddie Vedder could drink wine on a stage and make it lookbadass. Everything looks perfect, just the way things looked with you, too. No need for bullshit or pretending. I was in the hospital and I had this baby of ours. Posted on December 1, 2021 Categories Uncategorized Tags All good things are wild and free, bereaved parents, Cancer, childhood cancer, Childhood Disease, doctors, Family, Grief, Health, honesty, maya thompson, Mr. Sparkly Eyes, Music, Neuroblastoma, raw, reality, Rockstar Ronan, Ronan, ronan thompson, sadness, strength, Taylor Swift, tears . Because they never gave up on the you and me part of this. Not the day you flew away to the heavens above, not the day you went to be with Jesus, not the day you went to a better place where you are an angel now, not the day that you became free, not the day that you went home. I am not about to soften this blow with any of that bullshit. And it was to childhood cancer. I love reading all of your comments. The stars magically aligned for the worst reasons possible so your Fairy RoMo has been in AZ for a little over a week now. Its our peaceful time to spend with you and the small time out of my day that I try to take for myself to be with my grief/plot how Im going to take over this fucked up world. Ive noticed myself starting to have a really hard lately. I remember the sight of that, made me so happy, that I snapped a picture of it. He said some more things to me that I wont repeat, but left me saying, How do you know that? I will never understand this. How do I even put into words, who he is? I got home to our empty house. This means a ton of busy foundation work, a ton of taking care of your brothers, the way they deserve to be taken care of, a ton of busy things that keep me running throughout the day. For that, they will forever be my sisters. I was holding him and our Mr. Sparkly Eyes came into the room. I had Dr. JoRo over to our house today. We simply wanted some fucking lightbulbs changed out for one day, to recognize this world that deserves better. I hope you are safe. I know this is what you would want. I pick up and say hello to our favorite lovie and I give him my best Im not crying or sick voice I can. She of course made a ninja plan to help me tomorrow, go and find it. Not cancer) which you know I am always thankful for. Did I forget to mention the fact that I know your sister is going to be extra spicy, just like you? I am going to take the day that you left me and rename it and make it the name that it deserves. Buildings, roads, trees and natural life is simply disappeared. He came in beaming and so happy. We are also going to meet up with my friend, Scott Kennedy, from Solving Kids Cancer, another really great organization that is based out of New York. I miss you so much. That is basically like naming her Wooddawg. I had to laugh at that. If good days existed in my life anymore, today would have been one of them. I dont remember that, but apparently I wrote it so it must be true. It felt good just to be out with my friend. I have been getting through the days alright really; I suppose. Her baby, was 21 when she was diagnosed. And there was nothing I could do about it. Because at the end of the day, its not complicated at all. Marisa. Shes a pretty big deal in the literary world and is a writer herself. Quinn was over the moon. I am up due to feeling sick to my stomach from this Poppy that grows in my belly. Once again, I am so grateful and humbled by the kindness of strangers. You know that better than anyone. I left the hospital, waiting to hear the news that was the only news there could be. I lived in this world. But the most important thing is he is someone who loved you so much, Ronan. I cannot tolerate a life of complaining of nothingness. Im telling you, its all I can seem to do lately. Quinn just threw sand at me! Then throwing the sand back. I woke up around midnight, your daddy still gone. Simple words that go such a long way. Finally, someone you can do all those girly things with that you love doing. Thank you, Ronan. I know you want to be here doing them, just as badly. A few nights ago I was at my office working on my book, but I needed to take a little time out so I started to go through my pictures of you to make his card. This baby girl, is going to have so many beautiful aunties. I am going to build something amazing with it. We found a kid sized one to dress up. So much has happened and so much is going on that I dont even know what to address first. Macy. I still feel like I have post traumatic stress syndrome over the things we went through.

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